packing up
i am packing up. i am moving on. i will be back some day, but it might be a while. it could be forever until i am back. someone compared to forever to the time it takes a feather to erode a boulder, if the feather passes gently across the boulder’s surface once every thousand years. i do not think it will be that long, but it is not up to me. if i were booking a flight i would be buying a ticket to come back in five months, but it is not truly up to me, or at least I am not sure what will happen after that. there is a feeling that is akin to joining the army, a feeling like a soldier might experience before deployment. there is not a threat of death, at least a physical death, but there is the feeling of someone or something else deciding my fate. “jesus take the wheel.” maybe not this phrase, but a phrase like it. some things are still very close, some things will not change. some things are still far away, but they are looking different in this new light. new demands will be made of my body and mind and heart. new pathways will be created. the well-worn paths in my head might become grown over from lack of use. i am just not sure. this is uncharted territory. i know some who have been here, those people speak of this place with a reverence that instills a deep fear in me. their knowing looks and ways of speaking have forced me to really examine this meta-adventure.
anyways, the ride starts tomorrow.
