fizzer

i dye my hair i change my skin color i hide myself i change my brain i cage myself i change the way my body works i change my face i kill off parts that do not “fit” i starve myself i gorge myself i whore myself i numb myself

and then i wonder why no one knows me.

—-

I cannot for the life of me understand how we are so surprised at the fact that relationships do not work anymore. we have taken to the habit of drastically changing who we are and how our bodies function. we change the way our faces look, our bodies look, and how our minds work. we do this to attract a mate, but who are we really attracting, and what are they really attracted to? they are attracted to the product that we have created, to the surface we have manicured. deep down we are someone else, someone that no one knows. 

this frightens me.